All products and services featured are independently chosen by editors. However, Soaps.com may receive a commission on orders placed through its retail links, and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

Last week, I mentioned how Days of Our Lives was kind of a roller coaster — exciting episodes followed by snooze worthy ones. This week, I hate to say it, but it felt more like a flume ride. You go up a little bit, but really, it’s mostly downhill. But there were some bright spots, so let’s get to it…

I realized I wasn’t alone in struggling this week when Leo dropped that tidbit to Chad about Xander getting the acting bug for Body and Soul. My thought was: A few episodes were kind of rough lately… Did I fall asleep somewhere this week and miss that happening?! Then I saw a message board topic that asked the same thing. So, nope! It was just a random Leo fact dropped out of nowhere.

And on that matter, I’ve avoided talking about Body and Soul, but it’s time. I enjoyed it back when it was first introduced because it was a fun, inconsequential, soap caricature from what I thought was the ‘80s (but was shockingly current) that Abe was watching while a prisoner. But if they’re going to bring it into the show proper, it needs to be better than this. I’m so sorry I ever said anything about making it a spin off. Maybe if it was done as a standalone thing like Soap, back in the day, it could be fun.

But incorporating it in like this, it’s like they’re throwing every behind-the-scenes, eye-rolling, lazy caricature of soaps at it. They’re hiring Hattie who can’t act worth a damn, but looks the way they want her to. And what was that line of Abe’s about how Hattie’s motivation is that her character is “upset because she’s not the town’s top diva anymore?” What does that mean? That’s not how soap operas work! They have actual plots!

And Marlena’s utter obliviousness was bizarre. “Body and Soul? What’s that?” Even people who don’t watch soaps aren’t clueless to them existing. Trust me, as a millennial who’s written about them for over a decade and a half, I have never run into anyone who, after telling them what I do for a living, doesn’t recognize a single soap opera show name. And I’m talking about younger folks. The generations above me are even more familiar.

Then there’s hiring Johnny. That’s fine, we saw that coming and he needs a job, but calling him an “experienced” director? How much experience does he have? Oh, you mean that Marlena possession movie that never got made?

I’m sorry, I’m trying not to rant, but I’m suddenly afraid we’re going to be locked into this for months since it’s all shot already and each time it’s on… I need an aspirin. Hopefully, at least, the actors have fun with it. That could be a bright spot if they just let go and enjoy the absurdity.